Opinion: Controversial Gay Marriage Issue Divides Us All

NOTE: This is a very controversial and emotional topic (for me and for so many others) that I was not going to write about, at first, but later changed my mind.

On Election Day, as so many of us celebrated the the victorious effort of now President-elect Barack Obama, another movement was taking place in three states around the country - though, most notably, in California.

Anti-gay marriage initiatives were passed in California, Arizona and Florida on Election Day - moves that have since sparked protests across the country. For the record, I am not in favor of gay marriage (because I feel that marriage is between a man and a woman … that is my personal opinion). On the other hand, I do support civil unions that would offer gays and lesbians all the rights of heterosexual married couples. Some people might argue “what is the difference?”

That is a good and legitimate question, but it also is my opinion that marriage is between a man and a woman. I think the most important step that the gay community needs to take is to rethink the way that these initiatives are being pursued.

I am torn, because I can understand what so many gays and lesbians want and I can understand why they would want what they feel are the same rights a heterosexual couples.

I favor the basic rights that they seek, but I suppose my only quarrel is with the language of calling it “marriage” vs. calling it a “civil union.” I am not sure our country is ready to fully embrace equal rights for gays and calling for gay marriage gives so many of the bigots (those who oppose equal rights for gay couples regardless of whether it is called marriage or a civil union) an easy escape. They can simply oppose it because it is called marriage. Initiatives like this are tricky. If they are not worded correctly they will not pass even if the intentions are noble (as I believe the intentions are with this gay marriage effort).

Frankly, I would not have been angered had the initiative failed and gay marriage been legalized. I feel that there are too many bigots out there who are opposed to gay marriage for hateful reasons and oppose nearly all rights for gay and lesbian couples (including gay adoption). It is understandable for gays and lesbians to want the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Gay couples should clearly be allowed to adopt and they should be allowed to have civil unions with the same rights as heterosexual couples. Those who want to advance the cause of gay Americans need to take it one step at a time to change the hearts and souls of those who are violently opposed to their causes. Working for civil unions, first, would have been a wiser move.

Then, the movement toward gay marriage, if that was something activists really want to pursue, would have been a move that would have made more sense. Also, there is homophobia in the black community, but there is homophobia in many different communities and in our nation as a whole. So, to blame black people for the gay community’s loss in California is inappropriate. Right or wrong, many ethnic minorities and both genders are uncomfortable with considering being gay and lesbian as the same as being part of an ethnic group or being a gender (being a man or a woman).

This is part of the reason the approach for the gay community has to change if it continues to pursue change in this country right now.

From: The Gholston Post